Sunday, June 9, 2013

2 Years


A young woman went online to research her disease and discovered my blog a few months after I started it. She friended me online and we shared our experiences with breast cancer. She was working, married and 29 at the time with a 2 year old, so we had a lot in common. She finished treatment and made blog posts of her own regarding her struggles with self-image, energy, returning to work and of course the anxiety of recurrence. 

A year went by and I noticed I hadn't seen her FB posts, and discovered I must have made her edit list for some reason. After visiting her blog, I learned that her cancer had returned and decided to settle in her brain. Obviously we didn't have so much in common anymore. Her “whole” brain radiation caused seizures and blinding pain and her family was hurting. It was hard to read those posts. I just checked in on it again today and learned she passed away in April.

Her story is a painful reminder of why I went through what I did. Research today suggests that breast cancer may be over-treated, and those opinions scare me. If I hadn’t performed a self-exam 2 years ago, or decided to wait and see, I don’t want to think of what my prognosis might be. When my oncologist gave me my statistics during our first consultation, I read her print-out that treatment only improved my odds of survival from cancer by something like 7% based on my age, sub-type and other statistics. I remember thinking what most people would: why would anyone endure additional pain and suffering from chemo and radiation for an extra 7%? 2 years later, I can see now that is 7% more people who got to stick around longer to be alive, be happy, accomplish goals, create memories, love more, and do more. People have conflicting opinions of Angelina Jolie, but I understand her decision to do everything she could to reduce her risk. Everyone should have access to genetic testing as well as the access to preventative treatment. It should not be a privilege to be alive and healthy just because you can afford it. But that’s for another blog… 

So as of June 8th I am 2 years NED (no evidence of disease). But that does not mean cured, it only means I’m being watched, and so far… so good. My mom also celebrates another 10 years so far, and so far… so good. But it will always be a threat, and something to take seriously. So while I complain about my job, my bills, potty training, politics or the weather, it’s always a nice reminder that at least I get to be around to complain about life. 

Rest in peace Elisha.

2 comments:

  1. I struggle with anxiety over this very thing almost every day. It has gotten less as I get further out from diagnosis and treatment, but it is still there, in the back of my mind, that this story could come back any time. I'm not sure what statistics you got, since the ones I was given indicated that my treatment brought my risk of death/recurrence down to less than 10%. Without treatment, I would have eventually died from the disease unquestionably. Regardless, I struggled connecting with other survivors because I feared as deeply for their lives as I do for my own. My dad once pointed out though that with the advances being made, even if it does return, lets say in 10years, imagine the possibilities for treatment and cure then. Maybe, just maybe, by then, we can actually call ourselves cured and not just NED.

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