Wardrobe Changes

I have been shopping all week trying to ramp up my closet before I go back to work on Monday. It's been more of a challenge than I expected. The radiation makes the skin on and around my breast really sensitive so I can't wear underwire and sport bras don't really help me fill out "business casual," attire like I used to. I have to buy my microfiber and sport bra items an extra size larger because of the swelling on the radiation side. Not to mention the fact that I have to find a matching scarf or hat for every ensemble. I've also gained quite a bit of weight during chemo because I dealt with nausea and sadness by stuffing my face with all the delicious meals and desserts my friends made for me. The holidays didn't help either. I love pumpkin pie!

So, I was in Walmart yesterday checking out their "Just my Size," collection, which is a far cry from my beloved Victoria's Secret Incredible bra. Feeling pretty down about it and then I was "spotted," by another survivor. This is the first time I've spoken to another survivor outside of Kaiser. She immediately recognized me by my hat and was proud to report she is celebrating 10 years of being NED (No evidence of disease). We chatted a little about how hard it is with kids and how it really tests marriage etc. I was getting a little teary and she told me to be strong and it will be over before you know it. I know I'm close to the end, but for some reason it's not getting any easier. It's weird how I did not know this lady, but we were both completely comfortable talking about something that I try not to bring up around anyone else.

I came across this video today and even though I can't empathize with having to endure a mastectomy or reconstruction, I'm still struggling with finding clothes that fit and flatter my ever changing body with scars, graphing tattoos and tenderness etc. I definitely think it's an issue that needs to be addressed: pun intended!

On the bright side, my hot flashes have gone away and vitamin E is really helping to reduce the redness of some burning and scars. I'm looking forward to getting back to work on Monday and wearing something other than giant sweatshirts and slippers :)