Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Is it cold in here, or do I have a banana in my pants?

I had a very unconventional Valentine's Day. My husband (JP) worked late (as usual, but he did leave me roses this time) so my Mom brought over some chinese food and we goofed around with play-dough and gave my daughter a bubble bath. I've needed a little more help lately since I'm rounding the bend toward the end of my treatments and if I lift my arms too much or too high, the skin under my armpit pulls and sometimes tears a little: ouch! I'm really sore and tired too, and still swollen..... But I have just 3 treatments left!

The final 5 treatments are called "boosts," and they focus on my scars (sentinel node biopsy and lumpectomy scars). They super hurt afterwards, but I know radiation is so important for early stage survivors, and especially triple negative patients. I'm gritting my teeth and I'm pretty grumpy about it, but I still show up every morning.

My entire breast area is burned pretty bad, but the boost area and the armpit are the worst. I gave up trying to wear a bra and even a tank top irritates my skin because it rubs right on the area that hurts the most. Now I just wear JP's T-shirts and big giant sweaters to work. It's so much more comfortable, but it really makes me self-consious and paranoid that the room might get "too cold." In which case I'll just have to tell my boss, "No really, I'm just happy to see you!"
I'm using Thermazene Silver Sulfadiazine Cream now, and nothing really seems to be helping, but I glob it on all day anyway just in case.

Here is a picture of my armpit/breast area after graphing for the boost. I thought it looked like a doodle of a grumpy monster, which I kind of identify with it right now, so I wanted to post it and giggle at it later when I'm all done:

The big X is where my lymph nodes were biopsied and the black line and horizontal dots are where the stupid tumor was removed. The radiation is magnified and blasted in this area and the discoloration is where my skin has turned ash gray. The picture looks red because that's the color of my skin now. But those areas are done and now the rest of it focuses inside the grumpy face area.


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